A Secret Letter I’ll Never Send

I’ve kept this feeling quiet,

folded neatly where no one can see.

Not because it isn’t real—

But because it is too real to risk breaking in the open.

There are days when all I want is you;

to hug you, to feel your presence close,

to rest my heart where it feels safe.

Nothing dramatic.

Just you.

Just a moment with you.

But fear stands between us, silent and heavy.

I am afraid that rejection is the only answer waiting for me.

Afraid that if I reach for you,

I will lose even the small comfort of loving you from a distance.

So instead, I did something quieter, something sadder.

I trained my heart to grow colder again.

Not because I wanted to—

But because it's my only choice,

It felt safer than hoping.

I taught myself not to look too long,

not to imagine your arms around me,

not to wonder what it would feel like to be chosen by you.

I told myself that longing is a weakness, that softness only leads to pain.

But the truth is, no matter how distant and cold I pretend to be,

My heart still recognizes you.

It still softens at the thought of you.

It still beats in your presence.

It still aches in the exact shape of your absence.

This love lives in silence,

not because it is small, but because it is careful.

Because I care too much to risk losing you completely.

So I will keep this letter hidden, and these feelings folded inside me.

I will love you quietly,

from a safe distance,

where my heart can survive.

And if you ever wonder—

Yes, there was someone who wanted nothing more than to hold you close,

but loved you enough to stay silent.

Yours